Become a better partner for your lover
Emotional Availability: Become a better partner for your lover
Emotional vulnerability is a complex topic for many of us, even though it is a much-needed sentiment in every relationship we foster. In fact, many people find it difficult to articulate their feelings and even understand them. This affects their quality of life by dampening their ties with their friends, family and lover Become a better partner for your lover.
An emotionally closed-off person finds it challenging to maintain deeper connections as this requires bonding on a deeper level. To a large extent, their past experiences dictate their present ways of being available to others. Some, burdened by previous heartbreaks, go into their protective shells, while others have to start from scratch to learn the meaning of being emotionally available. They end up feeling the biggest jolt of this in romantic relationships as they can’t keep avoiding conversations centred around emotions.
However, there is no substitute for meaningful and healthy discussions to maintain a good relationship with your partner. So, while a Valentine Day gifts is a sweet gesture for your lover, it should come as an add-on to the wholesome relationship you share and not an attempt to compensate for your lack of emotional presence.
Luckily there is something we all can do to improve how we deal with emotions. All it needs is learning new habits and unlearning old practices on our part. If you are looking to better yourself as a partner and have noticed some inhibitions towards showing emotions within you, then keep on reading.
Become open to talking about emotions
The first step towards becoming emotionally available is to get comfortable with the term itself. Allow yourself the time and space to process emotions rather than shunning them because of your protective mechanism. Even if your partner brings up harder topics like your feelings, you must resist the desire to shut them down. It will be helpful if you graduate from being a passive listener to actively participating in the conversations you have as a couple.
Form a deeper understanding of yourself
Dig deeper into your existing habits and experiences to pinpoint areas that need improvement. Do you become agitated when you feel like crying? Do you run away from emotional topics in general? Are you scared of commitments? All of these questions need to be answered to gauge where you stand. This will help you address any underlying issues that need to be dealt with and make you notice the pattern of behaviour you showcase to your love interests.
Make time for your partner in your life
If you don’t make plans with your lover because you want to avoid emotional investment from your end, that indicates that something needs to be changed. Quality time is crucial for any relationship to flourish, let alone a romantic one that thrives on intimacy. Spending time with your partner will undoubtedly compel you to divert your attention to their needs and understand what they expect from you emotionally.
Take small steps to showcase emotions
After you have become at least somewhat comfortable with the idea of showing emotions, you can start putting it into action. Voice out the things that make you uncomfortable or things that make you happy. Contribute towards creating a space for your partner where they feel heard and appreciated. Something as small as gifting them Valentine cakes can go a long way in developing empathy and compassion for your lover as you will see for yourself the impact of your initiatives on your partner’s mood. After all, your actions are the actual test of your relationship.
Take accountability
Don’t mistake your partner’s love for you as their weakness. When you do that, you start taking them for granted. If you are an emotionally unavailable partner, then chances are that at some point, you have hurt them, ignored them or even exploited them for their patience. It is time for you to stop acting in such hurtful ways as your go-to move to avoid getting hurt. Your past heartbreaks should not continue to define how you behave in your current relationship. Own up your mistakes and communicate them to your partner. Following these practices might be difficult initially, as they require a lot of introspection and healing. However, you can always do this process at your own pace and transform yourself for the better with each passing day. After all, no change is instantaneous.
